I slung a bung

Things are pretty nervy in the Red household today. Word has reached me that I may be featured in the Panorama expose on football bungs to be aired this evening. Let's just say that I'm not as confident as Harry Redknapp that I won't be indicted.

As manager of Y Felinheli Under 7's, it's my duty to get the best players, at whatever cost. So when I was approached by a flashy looking geezer outside the Gardd Fon one evening, I couldn't walk away.

He wore D&G sunglasses, perched lightly on the apex of his shaved bonce. He had driven beyond the fashion ghetto of Next in Caernarfon Road to buy his clothes. He smelt of Chester.

But what he offered me was class, in the form of a 6 year old superstar who until recently was treading the turf at nearby Bethel. This player was wanted by everybody. He could run, he had balance, and rumour had it that he was able to kick the ball above head height.

That's what we'd been missing. A high kicker. we had a couple of lads who could kick it "full whack", and a girl who once nearly headed the ball, but a high kicker ? I could only dream.

The deal was done there and then. I told nobody, and on the surface, it looked like the £2 registration fee to the Gwyrfai League was all that changed hands.

But I want to clear my conscience before the broadcast tonight. I'll admit it. I bought that agent a bottle of Magners. With ice. But it was worth it for a high kicker.